The Right Time

This move may be sudden and surprising news for some of you, but it's actually been almost a year in the making.  Technically, it's closer to four years...David grew up in the military, and after we'd lived in Albuquerque for four years, he definitely made a pitch for something new.  We had two babies, two adoptions ahead...I gamely tried to convince him that switching to a new church was 'like moving!' and he graciously tabled it. 

But with almost four years of driving back and forth from the Midwest under our belts, I guess last year was a tipping point for David.  We were done adopting, the kids were getting older, he was tired of driving and ready for a change.  He sat me down three days after we got back from our summer trip and very seriously suggested that we consider moving closer to family.  We calmly discussed it and decided it wasn't quite the right time. 

Maybe his timing could have been better and my response slightly less shrewish and ill-tempered.  

It wasn't the right time, though.  Last year was a really difficult year for me--when you can't decide if it was more like drowning or being buried alive, that's not a good sign.  Although I certainly struggled when Liz came home, those felt much more mental/internal to me, and they focused a lot more around learning to parent her (and manage my expectations).  And it lasted about three months before I came out of it. 

Last year had aspects of that mental/internal struggle, but there were multiple extended illnesses and surgeries added to that, and so many other external things that just felt out of control.  And I was learning how to do everything with four!  It took me the whole year to come out of it.  It's a post for another day, but I would remiss if I didn't acknowledge right now the people God used to pull my head above water when my sanity was at stake--my adoption group, my pastor, friends.  Thank you.

In November, we got hit with another illness, one that involved night after night of staying awake with an in-severe-pain, screaming between cat-naps all night child.  It was resolved, but I think that was the turning point for me, and I told David maybe he could start looking at jobs within three hours of family.  It took another five months, extending the radius to one day's drive, and the small taks of rewriting the narrative of my life, but I think God has shown me in many ways that it is the right time now.