Thursday, November 19, 2015

Still Waiting

Although not ideal, mornings seem to be the best time to blog.  It's not ideal because morning is also a) the best time to do everything else, and b) I am surrounded by loud little people.  Oh well. 

But every morning for the last week, when I've thought about writing, I've also thought to myself, "If I wait until 9AM (when our agency opens), maybe I can report that we've received TA!"  And every morning, 9AM has come and gone with no news.  It's an interesting dynamic to be on China time here in the US, because our TA will be (has been?) issued in the middle of the night for us.  It's the same dynamic that makes you sad when Friday rolls around (China offices are closed), and happy when it's Sunday night (they are open!). 

So maybe today we'll hear, since I've finally sat down to write.  :) 

I'm also hoping to get some new pictures (and maybe even video) of Titus.  I'm excited but also a tiny bit apprehensive about getting them.  When you do the training for adoption, there's a section on processing grief.  Although there is joy in creating a new family, adoption doesn't happen without loss first...loss of birth family, birth country, other can be a lifelong process for adopted kids to fully process all that. 

But the training talks about some potential sources for grief on the side of adoptive parents too, like missing out on the first 18 months of your baby's life.  With Liz, I didn't feel that as much--maybe because we'd just experienced all the baby stuff with Luke (for the second time).  This time, though, I keep noticing all these babies in different stages and feeling really sad that I'm missing that stage with Titus.  I know he's grown (a lot, I hope!) since the last pictures and videos, but I think it'll be hard to see how much we've missed too.

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