Stirrings

Over the last few months, I feel like I've had a pretty good handle on my waiting.  I've posted about patience and while that post was focused on Jesus' return, it applies to dealing with shorter waits too.  For whatever reason, this week has been harder.  In my head I know it maybe six months before we see that face, but it's human nature to anticipate the longest odds--that I will open my inbox tomorrow or answer the phone to discover that our referral is ready.   I don't know if it's because several of my friends have either given birth or on the cusp of it, we've hit some big milestones in our journey, or I've just run out of my store of patience.  I'm knitting a shawl pattern called Chinese Lace, and while I have an idea of posing Katie with it, I keep imagining a little black haired girl in the picture.  I feel my heart stirring, and I realize once again that my daughter is out there somewhere, definitely alive at this point, being cared for by someone else instead of at home with us.  I think about how crazy it will be to actually travel to China, and I imagine how incredible it will feel to hold her in my arms.  And I haven't even seen a picture yet!  How will I handle it once we have seen her face?